Tools for Ethical Leadership
// Big Shot CEO
Let’s face it—any magazine worth anything these days has a new products or ‘gear’ section. In advance of each issue of Ethisphere, the editors send me a bucket load of products to try out.
Some products are good. Some hurt. Some I barely even know what they are, but I try to find a use for them. Regardless, I hope you find my reviews helpful. And be sure to visit the product websites to buy or learn more about them.
The Neckpro Traction Device
This Neckpro Traction Device is a great way to correct neck trauma from the wear and tear of daily life. Plus, what better way to correct your posture while stuck at your desk, staring at a computer screen for eight hours at a time? The forward thinking office should install one of these above every employee’s chair. Learn more at www.activeforever.com
CEO tester review: Felt much better. However, my secretary came in one time when I was ‘locked and loaded’ and screamed. She quit due to the trauma. The Board ordered me to attend suicide counseling. The meds were awesome. Along with this doohickey neck stretcher I have never been soooooooo relaxed.
The World’s Largest Crossword Puzzle
This seven foot by seven foot crossword puzzle is a great way to keep your brain in shape. There are 28,000 clues and over 91,000 individual squares. The maker boasts that this puzzle could take up to a year to complete. Learn more at: www.hammacher.com
CEO tester review:Who needs McKinsey? I threw this crossword puzzle on the wall outside my office. Whenever an employee stopped to fill it out I knew 1) they’re smarter than average and 2) they had too much time on their hands. So, I would give them a new assignment. If they came back to it a second time, I fired them.
Hair Cutting Umbrella
This handy hair picker upper keeps the trimmings off the floor. For those hard-core eco-heads, hair can be saved and recycled as a potential future fuel source (c’mon didn’t you see Branson try and fly a 747 on biofuel). Learn more at www.harrietcarter.com
CEO tester review: This product promotion might have been a big career breakthrough for that hair model, but can’t you see from the silhouette that I am friggin’ bald?
Portable Infrared Sauna
Saunas are a great health benefit. With this affordable, compact sauna the progressive leader can now have multiple saunas around the office as part of your company’s health plan. More saunas equal healthier and more productive employees and lower healthcare costs. Learn more at www.brookstone.com
CEO tester review: First of all, I ordered the female version of this apparent “man in a box” but alas it came empty. Where’s truth in marketing today! So I tried it out myself in my office. My secretary came into my office unannounced and threatened to file a sexual harassment suit against me.
World’s Largest Write-On Map Mural
This giant, dry erase map is a great tool for leaders of large corporations to convey all the places that their company does business. And, with the growing concern over global warming and the environment, companies can also mark all the areas that they are working to improve the environment. What better way to show employees that we are all in this together? Learn more at www.hammacher.com
CEO tester review: I call this map the “Discussion Ender.” Every time someone comes to me talking about how we need to be greener and stop deforestation, I bring them over to this map and point out: “it’s really green and it’s going to become greener.” For example: Greenland. Right now it is white, but soon it will be green too. Then I show them how my shoe is small compared to this map and say that’s a small carbon footprint. This usually ends the discussion and the employee walks away shaking their in head in agreement.
Jumpin Jammerz
One for each employee helps them keep the heating costs under control in their homes. And, for the forward-thinking office, you can turn down the thermostat if all employees wear these (legal note: check with HR first for suitability with your office condition). Learn more at: www.jumpinjammerz.com
CEO tester review: I ordered the one with the kisses on it but was sent a test unit two sizes too small (c’mon Ethisphere Editors—will you look at my silhouette next time first, please?). Since we were under an editorial deadline I asked my assistant to try it for me. She threatened me with a sexual harassment lawsuit and quit. My board has ordered me to get a male secretary in the future.
